What’s going on Impact Asylum? Welcome back to another edition of Hot Fire! The site may be new, the design may be new but one constant remains the same, and that’s this column! Where every week, I sit down, and review the newest episode of Impact with a nice little gimmick scale that I created! Last week Impact aired one of their best episodes of the year thus far, so let’s see if they can keep the momentum going!
Impact Wrestling August 9th 2019:
X-Division Title: Jake Crist vs Aiden Prince:
Winner: Jake Crist
LUKEWARM - This was pretty underwhelming for an X-Division match as although it had the flips and the high flying, it felt very slow paces and lethargic. Aiden Prince really felt like a challenger of the week too so it was hard to get invested in the match. However though Aiden Prince hung in there for a while so it gave Jake Crist a really nice win. OVE not coming out also helps rebuild Jake’s credibility after losing so much recently. Hopefully his title run is a long run as Jake could really leave where Rich Swann left off and keep adding importance to the title.
- Konnan is talking with Daga as Ortiz comes in ready to go to challenge for the belts tonight. Tensions between Daga and Ortiz and Konnan cools them off.
- Taya leaves Impact management’s office mad that she has to defend her title again so soon after her last defense, which goes against her contract saying she only has to defend it once every 60 days or something like that.
Eddie Edwards vs Ace Austin:
Winner: Ace Austin (DQ)
WARM - The match was pretty fun with Ace Austin teasing/using his own weapon/stick to combat Eddie and Kenny. Eddie Edwards definitely showed intensity in this match. What really makes this match for me is the post match segment with Alisha coming out to stop Eddie from beating down on Ace and then Eddie tells her to just stay with him if she cares about him so much and then the long walk up the ramp had some great emotion from Eddie which is very rare. I’m really interested to see where this feud goes.
- Tessa Blanchard talks about how she wants to not just be the best Knockouts but the best wrestler. She thought she would be facing Sami 1 on 1 at Unbreakable but that ended up not being the case. She’s tired of getting screwed over and she will be coming after Sami. Some AWESOME fire from Tessa here but it is VERY weird hearing her cut a babyface promo.
- Fallah Bahh is eating a salad when Moose comes in and calls him fat. They start fighting, food is thrown, and Moose gets the upper hand when he blinds Fallah with cake. This feels like such a weird feud because Fallah hasn’t really been elevated to the same level of Moose so it seems like Moose got knocked down a peg to have this feud. I get that Fallah did challenge for the World Title but he didn’t do anything of note since so he feels like a lowcard talent again.
Madison Rayne vs Alexia Nicole:
Winner: Madison Rayne
LUKEWARM - Nothing much to this match as it was mostly a glorified squash but nothing from Alexia Nicole really looked all that impressive (incoming ASSet jokes inbound) so I hope she can show off more if she truly was signed by Impact (it’s a bit confusing as to whether she is or not at this point in time). What I absolutely love is that Impact has THREE stories going on in the Knockouts right now so I commend them for that, although this particular story isn’t doing much for me but I love seeing the growth of Kiera Hogan as a character and a wrestler so I’m fine with it. Impact is doing WAY more than most other companies when it comes to divisions, as most companies assume that fans can’t handle more than one feud/story per division, even less if it’s for the title or not.
- The Rascalz are sad that they lost their Tag Team Title match last week and start talking about how there’s this one dude in the locker room that literally sweats weed (or something like that). Then RVD appears in the smoke and lights like an angel… and then The Rascalz start beating each other up with RVD’s signature moves as RVD looks on confused. It’s about time they used RVD in one of these segments but they misused RVD big time and the whole segment felt really flat here.
Knockouts Title: Taya Valkyrie w/John E. Bravo vs Havok:
Winner: No Contest
WARM - So the ending of the match was a bit weird but at least it protects both ladies moving forward. Su Yung coming on the screen again was cool as Impact doesn’t do those kinds of segments all that much. It’s interesting here as the face/heel dynamic is blurred between Havok and Su as it seems like Su wants revenge for losing the 4-way title match at Slammiversary but Havok is also… well… a havoc wreaking heel.
- The Deaners are drinking at a bar when the Desi HIt Squad appear to ask them if they want tea instead. The fight is on as the Deaners get the upper hand. They scare Gama Singh away and sit back down, but the Desi Hit Squad get back up to hit them with beer bottles.
- The Deaners are now in some kind of forest talking about how they are blue collars and will get the job done. They challenge the Dei Hit Squad to a match next week.
Stone Rockwell vs Nate Madsen:
Winner: Nate Madsen (DQ)
WARM - Of course this rating isn’t for the match but the post match segment, with Rhino destroying both men and calling out Elgin. Elgin is doing the heel role perfectly as you just want someone to punch him. The hoss fight was a bit cheesy but it was well done and I’m actually excited to see these two fight. Rhino, unlike many other ex ECW guys, can still go in the ring so it’s going to be a fun fight. They will just have to find a way to make it different than the Elgin and Cage match that took place at Slammiversary.
- Ace Austin brags to indy talent about defeating Eddie Edwards. One of the guys says it was just a DQ and Ace Austin shuts him down. He says he will get to Eddie the only way he knows how, by ‘’banging his wife’’. I legit cried of laughter for 5 minutes. These Ace Austin segments are golden.
- Impact Plus Moment of the Week: Four way Monster’s Ball match from BFG 2005 with Abyss and Mick Foley among others.
- The Desi Hit Squad accept The Deaners challenge and promise that once they win, the Deaners will become their servants.
- Sami Callihan is ready to start winning all the belts. Jake Crist won’t shut up about his title so they have to restart the promo. Sami Callihan says the first step is to defeat Tommy Dreamer so next week he’s teaming up with Dave Crist to take on Tommy Dreamer and Tessa Blanchard.
Impact Tag Team Titles: The North vs LAX (Daga/Ortiz) w/Konnan:
Winner: The North
HOT - Although not as great as the main event last week, we need to understand that those kinds of matches won’t be happening every week. This was still a very great match that was different than last week’s match with a bit more ground based stuff and the hatred was a nice added layer to the match. Where LAX goes after this loss I’m not sure as the whole status of LAX in Impact is in limbo right now. But I hope Daga is here to stay.
WARM - Not as great as last week’s episode but still one of the better episodes that Impact has put on this year. The Windsor tapings have been an absolute blast and hopefully this momentum continues with the Mexico tapings, who unfortunately have a history of being duds. What I like the most about Impact is that everyone is being used in some way or another. They aren’t afraid of having multiple feuds in different divisions (Knockouts and Tag division), and although not everything is super interesting, that’s to be expected and the lower card people need to begin somewhere to work their way up the card.
This Week’s Impact MVP:
ACE AUSTIN - ‘’I’m going to bang his wife’’. It came out of nowhere and it was just so unexpected that this moment was golden.
Next Week on Impact: - Rich Swann/Willie Mack/Rob Van Dam vs The Rascalz - Class vs Trash: The Desi Hit Squad vs The Deaners - Madison Rayne/Kiera Hogan vs Jordynne Grace/Alexia Nicole - Moose vs Fallah Bahh - Sami Callihan/Dave Crist vs Tommy Dreamer/Tessa Blanchard
That’s a hell of a lot of tag matches next week! A bit of a weaker card in my opinion but the wrestling could definitely carry next week’s episode. Thank you all for reading, make sure to leave your ratings in the comments below. My name’s Fireguy and I’ll talk to you all a little bit later.